Thursday, July 31, 2008
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
On Monster Quest, which I watch for the lulz (for those of you who know even less netspeak than me, that would be for amusement by laughing at their stupidity), and something really annoyed me. One of the "scientists" said:
I'm totally open minded as to the question of Bigfoot existing in the northwest. There has to be something to these reports.Attention idiot: Open minded does not mean what you think it means. Open minded does not mean that you accept it uncritically; true open mindedness means that you are open to the possibility that you might possibly be wrong. If you don't understand that, you shouldn't be a scientist; a large part of science is all about being open minded. Therefore, I sentence you to ridicule by those scientists who aren't complete fucktards.
Edit: Okay, in the next Bigfoot hunting episode, he's slightly less fucktarded. He does say that the evidence currently isn't in favor of Bigfoot, but still thinks that, despite pointing out himself that we haven't discovered corpses or feces or anything, we should investigate, because myths are generally based in reality. The problem with this is A) by this point additional searching is a waste of time, and B) myths are generally very loosely based in reality. Case in point: Almost all of Greek myth, and all the gods ever made up in the history of the universe.
Another edit: They admitted that the most convincing evidence for Bigfoot was eyewitness sightings, and considering the unreliability of eyewitnesses, they might as well have admitted they have no good evidence.
Friday, July 25, 2008
My recent (as in 2 minutes ago) post on Genesis 9 gave me an idea:
Christians, you call atheists immoral and God morally perfect.
I present to you the old testament, where God murdered millions (if not billions), never said a word against rape in marriage, and only condemned it outside of marriage due to it being pre-marital sex, demanded human sacrifice and permitted and endorsed slavery and sex slavery, and commanded the death penalty for the most minor crimes while letting rapists marry their victims in some cases.
I present the new testament, where, if I remember correctly, Jesus told his followers that they must hate their family to join him, that if they think being able to see lets them offend an imaginary being they should gouge out their own eyes, that you should murder your family if they tell you to worship another invisible sky daddy, and that all those who did not worship him and the deity who he claimed to be his father without a shred of evidence for this would go to a realm of eternal torment.
I present to you war (Crusades, maybe a little bit of the current war, Civil war (Bible used as justification for slavery), WWII(propaganda from Hitler about them doing God's work)).
I present to you famine (Dark Ages was caused by religion; I have a feeling science could have helped famine if it was allowed to actually fucking do something).
I present to you
genocide(Hitler, Jew burnings for "Host theft", Spanish Inquisition, and almost certainly others),
torture(Spanish Inquistion and probably others),
rape(idea that women were made for men, and that men are superior to women),
disease(Dark Ages plagues and anti-condom use people in Africa, anyone?),
human rights violations(slavery, racism, sexism, anti-gay, religious bigotry, and others), and
the greatest con job known to man(tithing, which lets them have a tiny country of their own for Catholics), all of which are perpetuated by Christianity's followers in the name of their religion.
I present to you atheism, which can only be associated with atrocities in that many despots are atheist for the purpose of removing religious obstacles to their power; it's not actually done in the name of atheism.
Yes, yes we are. We're black; I see that perfectly now. Thank you, Christians, for enlightening me to this fact.
Yeah, yeah, I know, I've been ignoring this site for a few days. Stop looking at me like that! There were books in my house that I hadn't read! I had to read them! The accusing stares, they burn like the fire of a thousand suns!
Anyway, God, today, says that gay people are actually holy reminders that he promised not to drown us all to death again. Because, I mean, why else would the rainbow be a gay symbol?
9God blessed Noah and his sons and said to them, "Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth. 2 The fear and terror of you will be in every living creature on the earth, every bird of the sky, every creature that crawls on the ground, and all the fish of the sea. They are placed under your authority. 3 Every living creature will be food for you; as I gave the green plants, I have given you everything. 4 However, you must not eat meat with tis lifeblood in it.
5 I will require the life of every animal and every man for your life and your blood. I will require the life of each man's brother for a man's life.
6 Whoever sheds man's blood,
his blood will be shed by man,
for God made man
in His image.
7 But you, be fruitful and multiply; spread out over the earth and multiply upon it."
See fundies? God told us to fuck; stop complaining about it! Though, based on that, you do have legitimate religious objections to abortion and birth control, but you still shouldn't force that shit on us.
8 Then God said to Noah and his sons with him, 9 "Understand that I am confirming My covenant with you and your descendants after you, 10 and with every living creature that is with you-birds, livestock, and all wildlife of the earth that are with you-all the animals of the earth that came out of the ark. 11 I confirm My covenant with you that never again will all flesh be wiped out by the waters of a deluge to destroy the earth."
12 And God said, "This is the sign of the covenant I am making between Me and you and every living creature with you, a covenant for all future generations: 13 I have place My bow in the clouds, and it will be a sign of the covenant between Me and the earth. 14 Whenever I form clouds over the earth and the bow appears in the clouds, 15 I will remember My covenant between Me and you and every living creature of all flesh: water will never again become a deluge to destroy all flesh. 16 The bow will be in the clouds, and I will look at it and remember the everlasting covenant between God and every living creature of all flesh on earth." 17 God said to Noah, "This is the sign of the covenant that I have confirmed between Me and all flesh on earth."
Give them what they ask for fundies, since their sign is the covenant between God and man not to drown everyone they must be holy!
Next, from what I can glean from the slightly confusing stuff after this, one of Noah's sons sees him naked, so he condemns said son's son to slavery. Why? Who knows. And they say that God and his followers are so moral, and the atheists are evil...
Notice that the kettle (atheists) isn't actually black. Now look at the pot. Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaah..... that's you, theists. Ain't projection fun?
Thursday, July 24, 2008
Friday, July 18, 2008
The Red Ferret, another person with a ferret-based pseudonym, has recently started a pretty good blog with the same name. Due to his ferret-pseudonym and good blogging, I hereby order my (minuscule) army of minions to go give him traffic. Go! Do it!
Thursday, July 17, 2008
More DnD stuff that some of you probably aren't interested in. If you are interested in DnD, though, this will probably be interesting. Edit: Have plenty of available time; including my edits, this is without a doubt my longest post: around 7 pages of rules for a minor artifact and a special material used in said artifact.
This post consists of 2 things: first, a special material I came up with, second, a weapon using that special material.
The special material is Ignan Ice; so named for its ability to control heat and cold. It originates from the Elemental Place of Fire; areas near deposits of it are often much cooler than the surrounding area. Despite its name, it is actually a mineral. It appears iridescent, except that it only appears to be shades of red and blue.
It has the property of allowing one to control heat. If held in hand, it allows one to deal 1d2 damage per round to a 30 foot radius area, either heat or cold, 1d4 to a 15 foot radius area, or 1d8 to a single target. It does not actually create heat or cold; instead, one mentally commands it to control existing heat. To cause cold damage, the material draws heat in; a 6 cubic inch item can draw in enough heat to cause 1 round worth of damage before having to either vent the heat or do 1 fire damage to the wielder. For every additional round without venting, it adds 1 more point of fire damage; so if one uses a 6 cubic inch item 2 rounds in the row, it does 2 damage that round, if one uses it a third round, it does 3 damage that round, and so on. When it reaches 3 damage per round, any metal touching it is treated as if Heat Metal had been used on it in the first round, and for every point of damage per round it increases, it treats the metal as it was 1 round further into the heat metal spell. However, instead of starting to cool off on the 6th round, it increases to doing 2d6 damage.If used enough to cause the wielder 10 damage per round, it explodes, dealing 1d6 damage per round used over a 30 foot radius(Thus, 6 cubic inches does 10d6 damage when it explodes). If one halves the amount of material, it does double the damage (5d6 damage upon explosion); if one doubles the amount, it can last 2 rounds before having to vent, and the damage goes up every 2 rounds (20d6 damage on explosion). To cause heat damage, the item needs a heat source to draw heat from and channel it to the target. The heat can be stored heat needing venting; each round of use of heat deals the same as the cold damage, or it can be used in a blast using up all the stored heat at once dealing 1d6 damage to a 10 foot radius or 1d10 damage against a single target for each round of heat so used. The blast also has a 5% chance to deal 1d2 damage to the wearer per round of heat used (if one uses 5 rounds of heat, it would have a chance of dealing 5d2). When drawing heat from a source other than the object, it deals half the cold damage that it would normally deal (so if drawn from a 30 foot radius, 1 damage, if drawn from a 15 foot radius, 1d2 damage, if from a single target, 1d4 damage) and the blast cannot be used. It can also draw from itself past past the amount of rounds of heat it has drawn in; it does 1 damage per round for every extra round of heat used for a 6 cubic inch, and shatters when the amount of damage reaches 3 per round. Also, if the blast is used and draws past the amount of rounds of heat, it does 1d4 instead of 1d2 points per round of heat used (all of them, not just the rounds past the amount of stored heat)
Using an item that is not a weapon, or is a weapon that isn't being used to attack that turn, made of Ignan Ice is a full round action. Edit: the range on these abilities is 100 feet.
When used with melee weapons, it cannot deal damage in a radius on the same turn it strikes. It can, however, heat part of the target and cool another, causing the cold damage as if drawing from a single target to deal heat damage and heat damage as dealing damage to a single target. Unlike most special materials, it is generally used on the hilt of a weapon; it gives an amazingly good grip, giving +2 to checks to avoid being disarmed, and if used on the blade, it doesn't work unless the blade itself is grasped. It cannot be used on ranged weapons except as noted for non-weapon items; it cannot attack in the same turn it acts as a non-weapon item. For freezing and flaming magic weapons, it has interesting effects; on a freezing weapon it has a ready made place to place excess heat, and for flaming weapons it doesn't need a source to use heat attacks. Neither affects the heat blast.
Now for the weapon.
Said weapon is a +4 lawful (+2d6 dmg versus chaotic beings, found in DM's guide) parrying (+1 AC, Psionics Handbook) impact (+2 damage, Psionics Handbook) charged (+d4 damage, Psionics Handbook) keen (doubles threat range, DM's guide) freezing burst (+1d6 cold damage, +1d10 on critical hits, DM's guide) wounding (1 damage from blood loss every round following a hit, DM's guide) defending (can transfer bonus to AC) ethergaunt bane (+2 to hit +2d6 damage versus etherguants, DM's guide (etherguants from Fiend Folio)) deflecting (can block arrows with weapon on a DC 20 reflex save, Complete Warrior) clouting (on hit, DC 19 fortitude save or be knocked back 10 feet, and if first save fails, make another DC 19 fortitude save or be stunned for 1 round, Complete Arcane) wakizashi (treated as short sword, used mostly by samurai class (Complete Warrior). (Yes, I know that goes over the +10 limit; I consider it a minor artifact)
The blade is made of bronze, with decorative tracings of Ignan Ice along it, and the hilt is composed entirely of exceptionally potent Ignan Ice, and is connected to the decorative tracings. This has the effect of making the hilt be treated as a 192 cubic inch object for purposes of absorbed heat dealing damage. Also, it does an extra die of damage from its Ignan Ice abilities, except the heat blast (2d2 damage for a 30 foot radius, 2d4 for a 15 foot radius, etc). For every point of damage per round it deals to the wielder, the tracings make it do the same amount of damage in addition to the normal damage on every strike.
It is intelligent, speaking and using telepathy. It can read any language and read magic; it speaks Common, Ethergaunt, Draconian, Ignan, and Aquan. It has an Intelligence of 19, a Charisma of 20, and a Wisdom of 12. It is Lawful Neutral. It has the following powers (amazingly enough, I actually rolled these, and technically the special purpose, though I would of given it that anyway)
Primary: See Invisibility
Extraordinary: Haste, Cat's Grace, Bull's Strength, Heal, Lightning Bolt
Special Purpose: Killing etherguants/foiling their plans
Special Purpose Power: +2 on saving throws, +2 to AC, Spell Resistance 15
Ego: 44 (yeah, the guy wielding this has no chance on the dominance tests; thankfully this sword is rather compliant as long as it has chances to fulfill its purpose and the wielder obeys the law)
Also, this is stuff that, as a minor (I'll call it minor even if it is kinda powerful for a minor one, and probably rivals The Sword of Kas and the Hand and Eye of Vecna (as individual items)! It's not quite as good as the Shadowstaff or Shield of Praetor or Mace of Cuthbert) artifact, it has:
Gives the wielder Improved Critical, Weapon Focus, and Weapon Specialization: Katana (yes katana (counts as a bastard sword), samurai dual wield in DnD) and Greater Two Weapon Fighting.
The guard is composed of 6 decorative wings; the wielder can, at will, have the wings fly off the sword and to his back, turning into giant white angel wings. It has a 20 foot wing span and gives allies withing 30 feet a +1 moral bonus to attack and damage rolls. When using this power, it loses Parrying Defending, sacrificing defensive power for offensive.
It casts spells as a sorcerer 2 levels lower than its wielder. Its spell list is all fire and ice related spells that are available to a sorcerer of its level; it also has Dispel Magic infinite times per day, but can only use it as a counterspell and while fulfilling its special purpose. Its caster level is equivalent to its effective sorcerer level. Edit: It does not act on the wielder's turn; it has its own initiative. It cannot take move actions, only standard actions or full round actions.
As a partially psionic weapon, it has a mental message it sends out on first blood. Unlike for most mental messages, though, this mental message has an actual effect; it sings a battle song for 5 rounds, treated as a bard's Inspire Greatness for all allies and the wielder withing 30 yards, and intimidates enemies, causing a -2 to attack rolls made by enemies. (only affects enemies with an intelligence; a golem isn't exactly going to be afraid)
Edit: Forgot about this when I first posted; it can use a round's worth of absorbed heat to use one of its extraordinary powers and extra time per day, or, with Cat's Grace and Bulls Strength, it can use one at double strength. This only works once per day. Similarly, one can use 2 rounds worth of absorbed heat to cause the battle song to be sung again after first blood; this can be done 5 times per day.
Also, adding to the bard psychic message thing, the caster can use Bull's Strength, Bear's Endurance, Cat's Grace, Fox's Cunning, Owl's Wisdom, and Eagle's Splendor (essentially, +4 to all stats), it also gives Phalanx Fighting (From Complete Warrior; feat which gives soldiers bonuses for using a shield and light weapon, and for being next to other shield and light weapon users with the same feat; this would be a great ability for leading troops); these last for 10 minutes. This affects everyone in the radius of the song and can be used at any point during the song if the wings are out; it can do this once per day, this does not count against normal uses of Cat's Grace and Bull's Strength, and all these must be used at once. The extra daily use of an extraordinary power can be used on this, or it can double the duration.
The blade considers its only use to be destroy etherguants, as it views them as introducing chaos into the world. Its extremely apathetic about anything unrelated to its purpose, and prefers not to use its sorcerous abilities on things which are unrelated to its special purpose. If you ask its name it will tell you that it is the Spellblade of Flame and Frost; no one except the ethergaunts will have heard of it if asked.
While this specific weapon is designed for a samurai, it could be altered for most any melee class; one just has to alter the powers a little. Oh, and the bronze blade is forged out of BD. I came up with the sword while coming up with funny things to ask him for his !fooW post, so he gets partial credit.
Edit: Additional note: the weapon does 1d6+1d6 cold damage+1d4 damage+wounding+clouting+6+1/2 strength bonus (assuming offhand use) on a successful hit, and assuming cooling one part of the target and damaging another with Ignan Ice, it would do an additional 2d8+2d4 damage, for a total of 2d8(fire)+1d6+1d6(cold)+1d4+2d4(cold)+wounding+clouting+6+1/2 strength bonus, or, with no strength bonus, 13-46 damage. Against chaotic opponents, it does an additional +2d6 (it considers ethergaunts chaotic despite the fact that they are generally neutral evil; it believes their actions serve to increase the net universal chaos) and it has a +2 better enhancement bonus vs ethergaunts and does 2d6 additional damage against them. So, the final calculation is:
2d8(fire)+1d6+1d6(cold)+1d4+2d4(cold)+2d6(vs chaotic)+2 and 2d6(vs etherguants, also take the vs chaotic damage)+wounding+clouting+6+1/2 strength bonus.
Assuming no strength bonus, thats 13-46+2-12 vs chaotic+4-14 vs ethergaunts.
On a crit, which is 17-20x2, assuming the same Ignan Ice use, it does:
2d8(fire)+2d6+1d10(cold)+1d4+2d4(cold)+2d6(vs chaotic)+2 and 2d6(vs etherguants, who also take vs chaotic damage)+wounding+clouting+12+strength bonus(1/2x2 is 1)
Assuming no strength bonus, thats 20-62+2-12 vs chaotic+4-14 vs ethergaunts.
Normal hit and Ignan Ice use:2d8(fire)+1d6+1d6(cold)+1d4+2d4(cold)+2d6(vs chaotic)+2 and 2d6(vs etherguants, also take the vs chaotic damage)+wounding+clouting+6+1/2 strength bonus.
Crit and Ignan Ice use:2d8(fire)+2d6+1d10(cold)+1d4+2d4(cold)+2d6(vs chaotic)+2 and 2d6(vs etherguants, who also take vs chaotic damage)+wounding+clouting+12+strength bonus
On making hilts of the special material for weapons, in my campaign there's going to be no set cost for making the weapon use it; one provides the raw materials and a nominal fee (that I'll decide on based on the forger's attitude toward the adventurer) and one gets a hilt made of Ignan Ice.
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
Resuming the series, today we have Noah leaving the ark after God murders everyone else horribly.
8 God remembered Noah, as well as all the wildlife and all the livestock that were with him in the ark. God caused a wind to pass over the earth, and the water began to subside. 2 The sources of the watery depths and the floodgates of the sky were closed, and the rain from the sky stopped. 3 The water steadily receded from the earth, and by the end of 150 days the water had decreased significantly. 4 The ark came to rest in the seventh month, on the seventeenth day of the month, on the mountains of Ararat.
So, the water went away. But since there isn't enough water for a worldwide flood in the first place, where the hell did it go? Did it literally go to hell? Did it get hidden by God's mysterious ways? What the fuck happened to it?
5 The waters continued to recede until the tenth month; on the first day of the month, the tops of the mountains were visible. 6 After 40 days Noah opened the window of the ark that he had made, 7 and he sent out a raven. It went back and forth until the waters had dried up from the earth. 8 Then he sent out a dove to see whether the water on the earth's surface had gone down, 9 but the dove found no resting place for her foot. She returned to him in the ark because water covered the surface of the whole earth. He reached out and brought her into the ark to himself. Does the entire bible consist of boring repetition?
10 So Noah waited seven more days and sent out the dove from the ark again. 11 When the dove came to him at evening, there was a plucked olive leaf in her beak. So Noah knew the water on the earth's surface had gone down. 12 After he had waited another seven days, he sent out the dove, but she did not return to him again. 13 In the six hundred and first year, in the first month, on the first day of the month, the water that had covered the earth was dried up. Then Noah removed the ark's cover and saw that the surface of the ground was drying. 14 By the twenty-seventh day of the second month, the earth was dry. So, after almost two months straight in an ark completely full of animals, where he somehow got food for himself and them, didn't get diseased from being surrounded by so much dung, didn't go batshit insane from the smell, didn't have his ark sink from a giant world-encompassing storm, and managed to not have a single animal die, Noah got off the ark. Makes perfect sense.
15 Then God spoke to Noah, 16 "Come out of the ark, you, your wife, your sons, and your sons' wives with you. 17 Bring out every living thing of all flesh that is with you-birds, livestock, creatures that crawl on the ground-and they will spread over the earth and be fruitful and multiply on the earth." 18 So Noah, along with his sons, his wife, and his sons' wives, came out. 19 All wildlife, all livestock, every bird, and every creature that crawls on the earth came out of the ark by their groups. 20 Then Noah built and altar to the LORD. He took some of every kind of clean animal and every kind of clean bird and offered burnt offerings on the altar. 21 When the LORD smelled the pleasing aroma, He said to himself, "I will never again curse the ground because of man, even though man's inclination is evil from his youth. And I will never again strike down every living thing as I have done.I don't know about God, but I don't like the smell of burnt flesh. Is it really that great, God? Also, weird formatting for Jehovah!
22 As long as the earth endures,
seedtime and harvest, cold and heat,
summer and winter,
and day and night
will not cease.
Monday, July 14, 2008
Fear my evil heretical church signs that may or may not be something like actual ones! (I have no fucking clue if they are or not, I don't pay attention to them)
Yeah, I was lazy... gimme a break. I will eat your soul though, so don't cross me! I have evil Satanic powers.
Everyone who's ever had a pet die should go console Orac today; his dog died today of cancer.
Sunday, July 13, 2008
There's an amazing 2 to 1 lead saying that PZ should crash my poll; someone should tell him about it. Because even if I am trying to take advantage of PZ's pwnzorzness (also known as fame in the blogosphere), I'm not so shameless as to do it myself. Even if it is a close thing.
Friday, July 11, 2008
I have a feeling that by this point, the entire blogosphere has heard of the story of the holy cracker of Jayzus being stolen and the following death threats against the perpatrator. And, of course, they've most likely heard of the subsequent threats against PZ's job, and, in some cases, his life, for stating that he would desecrate said holy cracker if someone could get one for him. (PZ is way too jaded to this; he's getting large amounts of death threats and he's still doing his normal posts) Anyway, I noticed that more than half his emails he posted seemed to state that he wouldn't do the same against Islam if given the chance (showing their ignorance; just because most of his religion posts relate to Christianity doesn't mean he doesn't also make fun of Islam, it just is because he has less contact with crazy Muslims than crazy Christians and therefore posts about the former less), which gave me an idea. They said that Muslims would declare a Jihad if he made fun of them, so I though I would compare the two religions in violence. This list is of things that were preformed by followers and influenced by the holy text.
2) Held back science during medieval times, the science of medicine could have saved thousands of lives if allowed to advance. (Probably only partial blame here)
3) Inquisition and other witch hunts.
4) Holocaust. (Christians, Hitler was one of yours, stop trying to push him over here!)
5) KKK. (Yup, they're Christians too; you aren't allowed to push racism on us evilutionists either)
6) Slavery. (The Holy Babble was used as justification for this horrifyingly evil institution)
7) Probably deaths by stupid people thinking Christ would save them from dying and demonstrate his power when they drank a gallon of Drano. (If I remember correctly, there was a verse claiming the faithful could drink poison and live)
8) Sexism. (What do you expect we're going to say you're responsible for when you claim women were created for men?)
9) Anti-semitism. (Based off the belief that Jews murdered Christ; hey, anti-Semites, your fucking god was a Jew!)
10) See this site.
Your fucking prophet married a little girl when she was six and started raping her when she was nine and you think that anyone who depicts him must die because it will fall short of his fucking perfection. I think that puts you pretty high up on the fucking list; you win, but not by much.
If one isn't scared of the Christians, the Muslims probably aren't that scary; there aren't as many anyway, and they're only a little more completely fucking insane.
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
I fully support anyone who steals Jayzus crackers, as long as they do something horrible to it. If it was legal, I'd say hold it hostage until they do something about pedophile priests; last I heard they were praying to get rid of them. I think you could try to press charges on anyone who gives you death threats if you did.
Thursday, July 3, 2008
I've had this one on the back burner for a while. I've been thinking about something for a few weeks, namely: Why do some stereotypes seem to be true?
In my opinion, based on observations of other people (mostly teenagers, so this might not apply outside of said group), the answer is that people think they should conform to the stereotypes to be accepted by society. You'll notice that black males try to act gangster, black females are extremely loud when talking to each other (and if that isn't a stereotype, it should be), jocks disdain books, and nerds don't play sports. I think that this is because these things are viewed as normal for that group, and they strive to be normal as best as possible. This is most likely contributed to by two things: they are often ridiculed if they act otherwise; also, they see their friends and possibly even more importantly, the celebrities they idolize acting as the stereotypical black/jock/nerd/etc. Celebrities, especially actors, will often present themselves as somewhat of a stereotype so that the target audience can identify with them/their character. This is as far as I've gotten speculating on the subject; feel free to add to it in the comments.
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
While watching Cities of the Underworld on DVR, (kinda interesting, on the Maya) I found something disturbing. Homeopathic joint pain relief for dogs and cats. This bastard, Dr. Ken Frank, is selling "a combination 9 homeopathic ingredients" (yup, 9, not just water! of course! I woulda figured that most homeopathic remedies would only have 1 "ingredient" besides water, but maybe I was just making a stupid assumption) saying that it will stop their suffering, using testimonials to make money at the expense of pets who get useless treatment. Just because their owners are fucktards, the pets should not have to suffer! There's only one solution to this: *cocks shotgun* Be vewwy vewwy quiet. I'm hunting Doctow Fwanks.
Either stop being woo friendly or stop broadcasting! There are no UFOs, biblical history is a crock of shit, the Bible fufilling prophecies made earlier in the same goddamn book is not impressive, there is no Bigfoot like thing called the Ohio Grassman, there probably aren't mutant super rats out to eat people, and the world won't end in 2012.